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As I continued my journey into what increasingly became clear was indeed a village, I started to hear the pitter-patter of rain on the remaining leaves, of the trees, above my head.
I emerged from the wood, onto a civilised pathway and felt spots of rain hit my face. Then, like a great ship out of a dark, stormy see, I saw her.
She was a tall foreboding building of sharp, ornate oak carvings.
The sort of building that screams rats and woodworm at you. An old farm building with decorative flowerpots under and wall mounted spotlights - of which only one was working -illuminated a sign in red, decaying paint. The sign was longer than the visible words and it wasn’t until I got closer that I could make out the rest of the wording in faded paint: “…thing”. What kind of a name is that for a bar or a public house?
Even my mobile started sulking and switched off at 2% battery.
Suddenly, through the trees, I could see orange lights, like a town perhaps?
The windows were full of condensation and were dancing in orange flickering, as if a warm fireplace might be sharing its warmth with the patrons inside.
I could hear the rumbling drumbeat of a jukebox and the sounds of chatter and laughter coming from within.
That means lots of people light big fires outside and have firework parties in the back gardens with organised displays for the public up and down the country. A single swipe that beeps twice and now adds two items to your receipt. Kids who scream, lay down and kick their legs because they can't have the biscuits they want and have the poshest names known to man when they are politely told that they will be left there if they don't stop crying. Your stuff can defrost and be seasoned with salmonella, for all they care! People who open boxed items to see if its the same as the picture and then decide they can't fit is back properly and put it back on the shelf for you to be suspicious of buying it.12. "unknown item in the bagging area" It's the item I just scanned in the ****ing bagging area - look! People who start taking your stuff off the bagging scales and start packing it and upset the computer;5. People who stand and have a long chat with trolleys that completely block an entire aisle and cause a 20 foot tail-back! Electric scooters than speed past the cake decoration shelves and nearly run you into the freezers of ice-cream;9. People who leave freezer doors open because they've got theirs now.Revolving doors that beep and stop when you are in more of a hurry than the doors are! The tannoy playing "So here it is Merry Christmas, every one is having fun..." in November! Those small supermarkets where only one till is open for a long queue and 3 staff are hanging tinsel.
Perhaps I need to get into the Christmas spirit more? It was a bitterly cold, foggy night on that lonely, dark wooded lane.
Then...a load THUD that seemed to shake the rusty farm implements hanging from the ceiling. I tried to break the awkward silence by saying “Hi” in a low inoffensive way. I looked up to see various farm implements on the ceiling and whilst the bar was mostly empty I saw one blonde guy at the bar. I looked at his neighbour on the other side of the bar who returned an explanation “His wife’s left him”“Oh, I am sorry to hear that” I said politely.“He isn’t. I nodded like a naughty schoolboy and went to walk to the door but was stopped by the grip of her hand on my arm. She glanced at a heavily build bearded man sat by the fireplace next to an empty chair, who I presumed was her partner.